From the get-go, people have ever-changing identities in the vortex of society. Your individuality keeps getting replaced and modified unless you are a woman carrying a fetus; you may as well be stuck with “mommy” for the rest of your life. It becomes your trademark and there is no way of escaping, let alone hiding from this title. What makes it worse is the fact that the rest of the community turn a blind eye to the rest of the traits of a mother; they are only defined by a tattoo-like label of being a mother. Since it is permanent, everything a mother does would be automatically associated with their “only” title. From “mom” clothes to “mom” talks, you cannot help but picture a woman in comfortable “mom” jeans while nagging her toddlers to keep quiet. Besides that, it is regarded as questionably unconventional for a mother to take pleasure in hobbies like skateboarding but it is normal to sit and read handbooks about good parenting.
Everyone is fed with such stereotypes. This paints a suffocating image of the chains of motherhood where they simply cannot break free and educate the world that they are more than that. In addition, this identity places mothers on an impossible pedestal, expected to be altruistic, superwoman and cease to be a human who has desires and a life to enjoy. They are anticipated to position themselves at the bottom of their priorities while being enslaved to their children, continually running back and forth, trying to fulfill their demands.
Moreover, the pressure forces mothers to juggle the roles of a “fun mom” and a “strict mom”. It is a tragic realization that you are not doing it only for the children but for the public’s eye also since it has no longer become a matter behind closed doors. Highlighting this issue even more, it is a label that is thrown around too casually: the intimacy and value ebbs away at a rapid pace. Take the nickname “sweetheart” as an example, a complete stranger calling you that makes you feel absolutely violated. The same feeling can be applied onto “mommy”.
In pop culture, the portrayal of mothers is quite paradoxical: they are prudish or liberal, stylish or unfashionable. This makes its imprint in the unconscious mind of the mothers to live up to these standards even if they consciously do not bother to do so. Yes, it is quite difficult to reprogram everyone’s minds that into thinking that mothers are not just people with baby carriers strapped to them all the time but they are, too, humans with hopes and dreams. A label like “mommy” is honor and a blessing however mishandling transforms it into a curse.